So like many of us out there, I did the typical thing at the beginning of Corona and downloaded TikTok. Now, after many months on the platform, it has finally tailored content toward me, a thirty-something year old, gay male in New York. I’m finally seeing a lot of thirst traps, which I am not complaining about one bit, along with many local TikTockers as well.
So anyway, I stumble on this cute ass guy, basically showing up on my For You Page. He’s really cute. No, Legit. He has the cutest smile and is just adorable. Ugh, I start to watch all of his videos and he is somewhat chubby and all about body positivity. He makes himself out to be this overly large guy but in retrospect, he’s got a little weight on him. To be honest, I think we are all overly judgemental on ourselves.
Anyway, he’s really pushing the whole “make bellies a normal” thing and I’m all about it. I really like him. I like his positivity and he just seems like a genuinely sweet guy. I come to learn he has a boyfriend, so I was kind of just like, meh and sort of forgot about him.
Flash forward to a few days ago, my horny ass launches Scruff and start browsing. I haven’t been on any apps in over 4 months. My current situation doesn’t allow me to host (or escape), so I’ve just been staying off. So anyway, I launch the app and start browsing locally and I notice this cute guy. I tap the profile and he looks so familiar. I can’t place where I know him from, but I’ve seen him before. Like a typical stalker, I check out his other photos and I still can’t place it.
All of a sudden, it hits me and I’m like, that’s that dude from TikTok. I couldn’t remember his name, so I started swiping through my Following list and then one of his videos popped up. I checked his profile and compared his TikTok profile to the Scruff profile and verified it was him. He has been working out at home and it has shown. He lost more weight and really toned up. He also grew some facial hair and that was just the cherry on top. I mean, I didn’t think he could get any hotter, but yet he did.
I “caught up” on his videos. Turns out he’s single again (explains him being on Scruff) and I didn’t know, but he’s doing a nursing program.
So I had reached out to him with my typical “Hey, how are you doing” line prior to my discovery that he was my favorite TikTok guy. I didn’t expect a response, but then he wrote back just “Hey” like a day later. So, again, not realizing who he was, I threw the “how’s your day going?” line in hopes to spark some conversation. Of course, nothing.
Finally, when I realized who he was, I basically fangirled (yes, I actually said that word to him too) and sent a relatively sweet message to him about how I recognized him from TikTok and how I love his videos and wished him a good day. I just got the vibe that he wasn’t interested one bit, so I figured I’d keep it positive.
So he did reply back with the canned response of “oh, haha” and “a few people recognize me from there” and “thanks for the follow” … blahh blahh blahh. I decided after that, to shoot my shot. I figured he’s Mr. Positivity and why not? So I sent back a nice message about how amazing his body transformation is and how I know what the app is for, but basically if you want to grab a coffee or even want a workout buddy, to let me know.
Ideally, at the end of the day, we would fall in love, get married and live a long and happy life together. But I was genuinely looking for a friend. If it led to anything, great! If not, and we were just good friends, great too!
But alas, I go without a response. He probably read it and just was like nope.
I should know, like all social media, it’s just a front. Everyone comes off so genuine and nice but yet in reality gay culture is just toxic. If you’re not porn star-looking material with a giant cock, you’re not even given the time of day on these apps. Que sera, sera.