Hey friends, so I wanted to bring up the subject of ghosting, as I’ve been the latest victim of this shitty social activity.
So a little backstory: I was on Grindr and hitting up every guy with an online status. What can I say? I was horny as fuck.
Anyway, so I sent a tap to this guy and he actually responded. We started our conversation and he asked me why I was up so early, so I explained that I had to walk my pup. Hilariously, he thought I meant like a guy cosplaying as a puppy. He legit asked me, “Wait, pup like another guy or an actual dog?” We laughed about it and he even said, “What you must think of me to go to that place.” I laughed it off, I mean, I’m not opposed to it, but I wouldn’t be the “pup” LOL
So anyway, we continue talking. His photo is his headshot. He’s cute. He’s an advocate in the community, helping people find treatment for numerous things. I love him already. He’s cute and he helps people. He’s Father Theresa in my books.
As we continue to talk, he discloses that he has a boyfriend. DAMN. It’s ok though, I can always gain a new friend. I’m truly enjoying our conversations. We continue on and I disclose that I live on my own and own a 2-bedroom condo. He then expresses how he’s dying to move out but as usual, New York is just too damn expensive to live on his own. His current situation? His parents are the type that once you’re 18, you’re on your own, so he lives with his grandmother with the arrangement that he’ll help her around the house to live for free. He blatantly asks me if I’m looking for a roommate. I honestly never thought about it before and I love the freedom of living alone (I’m naked 99% of the time when home), but the thought of getting some extra money is quite appealing.
He apparently works nearby my place, so I told him that I was open to the possibility of a roommate and that he should come over. Of course I have ulterior motives, but he clearly states that he’d be open to checking out my place, but we can’t do anything sexually at all. I oblige and respect the boundary, especially since he may become my future roommate.
We continue to talk for months through text. I learn a lot more about him. He’s somewhat depressed and has a few demons that he works through. I’m genuinely concerned, but he’s assured me that he’s ok and getting the help that he needs. OK.
He hasn’t come over to check out the place and I eventually bring up us meeting. I said how it’s crazy that we haven’t met at all yet. He discloses that he’s nervous and he needs to be transparent with his boyfriend. I told him that I completely understand and how he should bring his boyfriend as well. I suggested that we could get some coffee at Starbucks and just talk or grab some Starbucks to go and we could come hang at my place. He seemed much more open to that.
Well after months of talking and building our friendship, he’s disappeared. As I’m typing this, I’ve come to realize that he probably disclosed our conversation to his boyfriend and he probably freaked out on him and told him to stop talking to me. I’m ok with this, well not really, but whatever, I respect it. What I’m not ok with is the fact that I text you to make sure you’re ok and you don’t have the decency to respond. Maybe he blocked my number, you say? I thought so too, so I reached out to him through the app, which he didn’t block me on and NOT. A. THING. I’d truly like an explanation as to why you just stopped responding/disappeared, but I suppose that’s why it’s called “ghosting.” I mean, if you simply said “My boyfriend doesn’t want us talking no more,” I’d respect it and move on. Now I’m just here, left hanging. I’m emotionally blue-balled.